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Charlie Sheen, Dickwolves and disposable girls

ViolencewomenCelebrities getting away with abuse, game creators glorifying rape – is it any wonder so many men are clueless about violence against women? Laura K. Warrell has had enough.

10 April 2011

Know what? I’m not entertained anymore by Charlie Sheen’s shenanigans and not only because he’s a cracked egomaniac who should be receiving treatment rather than accolades. And it’s not only because I fear getting my kicks off the ravings of a lunatic who may end up dead soon.

I’m not paying attention to Charlie anymore because I’m tired of acting like guys who beat up women are okay in my book.

In his long career, Mr. Tiger Blood has shot ex-fiancé Kelly Preston (John Travolta’s wife), got sued by a college student he knocked in the head for not sleeping with him, had restraining orders filed against him by his wives and had several adult film actresses accuse him of throwing them around a room.

The reason dude’s kids were finally taken away from him last month was because he supposedly threatened to cut off their mom’s head and send it to their grandmother in a box.

Oh, Charlie, you old kook!

In most of these cases, Charlie pleaded no contest and paid a fine or settled out of court. Though in a couple instances, the accusers never followed through with their allegations, I think we can safely assume Sir Smirk n’ Chin hits women.

But as most of those ladies were porn stars, strippers, hookers, addicts and gold-digging starlets, they seem to be considered the kinds of low-lifes for whom abuse is inevitable, perhaps even justifiable. Thus, as a great piece in the New York Times suggests, these gals are deemed “disposable.”

I realize the futility in suggesting a serial abuser shouldn’t be rewarded with a multi-million dollar television contract and a star on the Walk of Fame. Some of the most celebrated, even admirable, characters in the history of the world have been bastards and weirdoes.

I’ll also let someone else wonder why Mel Gibson’s stock is waning while Charlie’s is on the rise or why Chris Brown’s abuse of Rihanna cost him his career (race? the value of a pop star over a porn star?)

All I want to know is why instances of abuse toward women aren’t more regularly met with horror.

In the same week of Charlie’s meltdown, I read about a monstrously successful online comic called Penny Arcade. A strip about video games, Penny Arcade has spawned a massive movement amongst gamers and geeks. However, the creators of the comic got into hot water last year for publishing a strip in which characters were repeatedly raped by “the Dickwolves,” monsters who looked like wolves and had penises for hands.

When female fans took offense, the creators issued a smartass, flimsy apology. The notion being these ugly feminists couldn’t take a joke. Meanwhile, male fans harassed the women online by, among other things, posting pictures of mutilated women and creating Twitter handles like @teamrape and @rapefatchicks. The most vocal female fan, a rape survivor, even received death threats.

I love men. I know they’re smarter and more sensitive than the culture gives them credit for. But I don’t understand why so many of them are clueless about violence against women.

Maybe because abuse is swept under the rug when prominent people like Charlie Sheen do it. Maybe because when women are raped and mutilated on cop shows, they’re found in “do me” poses, wearing matching lace panties and bra sets, as if violent death is so darn sexy. Maybe because men have no idea what it’s like for us gals to live with the threat of violence every day of our lives.

Every male who walks behind you, every overeager guy hitting on you at a bar, every man staring too long at you on the bus, every creepy taxi driver ogling you in the rearview mirror, every date with a stranger, every escalating fight with a husband, every unlit street, every empty subway car, every parking garage creates a moment and place where every woman knows something horrible could happen.

Statistically speaking, every woman has experienced violence, some of them victims of the most horrible cruelty imaginable. And believe me, it ain’t funny.

For all I care, Charlie can continue his rampage of derangement and reap all of its glorious plunder. It’s not his fault no one cares about the women he hurts.

But I do want to live in a world where ravaging females, regardless of their station in life, is no longer entertainment or a joke. Maybe ladies have to keep letting folks know the pain of what we go through. Maybe one day, they’ll believe us.

Laura K. Warrell wants to know what it means to be a woman nowadays, what it means to be a man, and how in God’s name we’re supposed to make it all work.

Her blog, TART & SOUL – where this article first appeared – promises to keep the conversation going. A Midwestern gal who’s lived in France, Spain and Germany, Laura is back in the US writing what she hopes will be the next Great American Novel.

Visit her website at




0 #4 ken 2011-06-05 11:37
I could not agree more with most of what you say,Violence and violence toward woman has been ignored or made fun of in society.

I am a man who opposes violence against anyone,but I have been amazed since high school at the choices girls/women make in their partners,gentle ,kind and loving men over looked for violent abusers.

Years ago I came across a girl being repeatedly punched by some guy she was with,I made an attempt to help and was rewarded with the girl telling me to"Fuck off and mind my own business!"

I do wonder how to stop violence against women when I see women support the very thing that harms them?
0 #3 Rico 2011-04-13 10:28
Charlie Sheen's Mom Was Product of Rape maybe that is why he has issues. Martin Sheen was a violent drunk and abusive as well maybe he learnt everything he knows from his dad. His dad is famous so he just copies to be the same way.
0 #2 Robert 2011-04-11 04:57
Chris Brown's abuse towards Rihanna cost him his career? Huh? Chris just came off "Deuces" being number one on the Billboard R-n-B chart for 10 Weeks (from a self promoted mix tape.) "Yeah 3x" is a worldwide top 5 smash, "Look At Me Now" was a Number 1 best selling single on I-Tunes. "No Bullsh*t" (also from previously mentioned self-promoted mix tape) went to Number 1 on the Urban Charts. He currently has duets right now out with Busta Rhymes and Lil Wayne, T.I. (also charting pop and r-n-b), Keri HIlson "One Night Stand" (next single off her album), Twista (also currently charting), Diddy, Justin Bieber, new single with Chipmunk (UK grunge artist) went to number 2 in the UK, "Dueces" Remix with Drake, Andre 3000, Kanye West, T.I., Rick Ross, and Fabulous (still charting), new Euro Pop single with Benny Benassi, and cuts with Jae Milz, Jawan Harris, Pitbull. New single from Big Sean featuring Chris Brown just out! New song by T Pain featuring Chris Brown also out! Plus, don't forget his recent three Grammy Award Nominations!! Finally, his new album debuted at Number 1 on the Pop Charts!

In terms of violence against women: John Lennon allegedly abused Cynthia Lennon at times in their relationship and beat up a man at a party. Frank Sinatra was known to be frequently violent in his relationships. Elvis Presley began having sex with Priscilla when she was 14 years old, which technically classifies him as a pedophile, a sexual form of domestic abuse. Johnny Cash was known to have been physically violent to June Carter. James Brown was known to batter several of his women. And its not just men: Hillary Clinton has been accused by biographers in the past of attacking Bill. Humphrey Bogart's wife attacked him as well. Liza Minnelli has been accused of attacking David Gest. Christian Slater and his wife have also been known to have violent episodes with one another. Joe Elliott (from Def Leppard) and his wife were both arrested for beating the crap out of each other. Anthony Michael Hall, Tiger Woods, Urkel, Rick Springfield, Kurt Cobain, Courtney Love, Eminem and his wife, Ron Wood (Stones), Phil Hartmann (murdered by his wife), Evil Kneival, Harry Morgan (M*A*S*H), Riddick Bowe, Mike Tyson and Robin Givens, Bill Murray, Richard Pryor, Paul Anka and his wife, Sean Penn (he pleaded guilty to abusing Madonna), Jackson Browne (he allegedly beat Daryll Hannah) , Dennis Hopper, Josh Brolin (he allegedly beat Diane Lane),

4.8 million women in the US are a target of intimate partner violence; 2.9 million men are victims of intimate partner violence in the US each year. Intimate partner violence costs the US 8.3 billion dollars a year in medical costs, therapy, lost productivity from work (2003 figures and likely much higher as it escalates in times of economic uncertainty.) Domestic violence occurs in 30-40% of intimate relationships with straight couples during the span of their relationships. Gay men don't often report violence against themselves, but the figure is likely the same.

It is those that vilify people who exhibit violent behaviour that actually perpetuate violence by vilifying those who struggle with managing their rage. Shaming someone into being less violent is a form of violence in itself ("bastards and weirdo's"?). As a gay man in America, I feel just as scared to walk down the street as any woman and constantly find myself looking over my shoulder.

Violence is quite clearly a common human condition, and the reason people grow up violent is most commonly because they witness violence themselves. Men are not taught how to express their feelings, but sometimes women aren't either. This is not just a problem for women, its a problem for our society at large.
0 #1 Elsa 2011-04-10 05:58
Oh my god ..WHAT IS THIS 'ARTICLE' ?
I am a woman and damn proud of it. I see women as equals to what men are in every points.
The Charlie Sheen case is my opinion is irrelevant, this guy is not praised first, the medias try to bash at every opportunity, as for the violence in his personal life..i don't know and you don't know either, to make him the poster boy for violence against women is ridiculous, the press reports facts but it stay facts reported by biased medias, allegations women who after that benefit via fame, money of their connection (good or bad) with Sheen, they literally use it..We can't have it both ways sorry, because you are the woman you are the sorry freaking NO. Of course women every day die because of violence against them but they can also be violent, an important fact that some people like you want to ignore it in order to play the "feminist" speech (and i am a feminist, a real feminist, not an opportunist). And your comparisons with other celebrities like Gibson and Brown are silly : Gibson has a movie right now who works well, as for Brown his new album has been number one and he is invited in tv shows to promote it. Actually their career are in a far better shape than Sheen's career who is i repeat bash at every chance by the press, although they make money of his troubles. It is article like the one you wrote who discredit important movement like Women's rights, feminism where it is showed and expressed complexity of the human-being and above all of the woman with a big W.

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